The Picture on my Wall

I am experiencing a creative re-birth.  At least, that's what it feels like.  I was a classical musician for many years, even pursuing it at a conservatory before quitting cold-turkey for a more technical field.  Years of schooling and a career made me less likely to write, or play music, or draw for creativity's sake.  You know that line in "Jurassic Park" when Jeff Goldblum says, "Nature found a way."?  Well, my oft-suppressed self is finding its way.  I've written about my children's profound impact on my life, but there is also something else.

My parents are two different, yet complementary people.  To simplify it tremendously, my Mom is sensitive and artistic, and my Dad is more analytical and technically-inclined.  Somehow, I've managed to be lucky enough to get some of both of them.  Lately, though, the technical side was at the forefront, as a consequence of my job.  I think my creative side was being repressed, and, as creative-types sometimes are, was not too happy to remain in the shadows.  As I've turned to writing, and also to drawing (paints are way out of my league), tears and feelings of frustration seem to be calmed.  I'm embracing that I am the sum of both parts of me.  Right and left-brain.  This realization is good for my relationship with my kids, too.  I love thinking up art projects, and talking to them about colors, and encouraging their imaginations.  I also throw in a bit of science, but I don't hit them over the head with it.

So, getting to this picture.  I am inspired by pictures in magazines, translating dark and light into lines and shading.  I don't really advertise my work, as it mostly sits in a folder, or hangs on the walls of my bedroom.  I think I gave one to my Mom.  This particular picture was adapted from a photograph in National Geographic.  I don't remember the story behind the photo, but in the way I drew it, I can sometimes convince myself the woman was feeling extreme joy, and other times extreme grief.  I chose to hang it on my wall instead of some "happier" drawings.  Why did this one capture my attention so?  I think because of the ambiguity; it is emotion without context.  The reason behind the woman's strong feelings is not apparent, but the presence of raw emotion is.  It is the feeling that is important, not the analysis of the situation.  I look at this picture as a reminder that one's creative, emotional side is valid and powerful, too.  Even if it doesn't bring in a paycheck.