M-o-o-o-o-o-m

Well, it has happened.  I have become "Mom".  I started out as "Mama", moved on to "Mommy", and am now "Mom".  I think the only thing left is "Mother, Dearest" before moving, finally, to "Old Bat".  Big Brother Badger is calling me Mom, and I think he learned it from watching older kids on TV.  Big boys call their mothers "Mom", and give her a kiss on the cheek before taking out the garbage and going to college.

I'm not ready to be Mom!  I'm still wrapped in the warm and fuzzy glow of baby voices saying Ma-ma.  "Mommy" is necessary in a child's life.  She is the one called when there is a boo-boo, or when a child has a bad dream, or wants milk and cookies, or wants to read a book or play.  "Mommy" is said breathlessly when something exciting happens, or softly when it's time to be tucked in at night.  "Mommy" means comfort, calm, home.

"Mom" means sitting on the sidelines during practices, buying pizza rolls for snacks, and pretty much staying out of the way.  "Mom" can be easily turned into "M-o-o-o-o-m" (with eye-rolling and arms crossed).  "Mom" is held at arm's length.

So, when I heard my little boy nonchalantly call me "Mom" for the first time, I freaked out.  I asked him where he had heard that.  I asked him if I had done anything wrong.  With tears in my eyes I asked Daddy River Badger why my son was mad at me.  Basically, I treated it like he had walked into the kitchen and asked for some f***ing food.  Mom-fail.

Names are important, after all.  Being a Mommy represents what is most precious in my life right now.  Being a Mom is a little scary because it represents change.  Children growing up and moving on.  When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Big Brother Badger I had a sharp realization that this was the closest he would be to me.  As soon as he was born and ever after he would be moving away, growing up.  This is as it should be, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.  So now I have three, all growing up.  Being a "Mom" is inevitable, I guess, but I think I'll hold on to the "Mommy" as long as I can.