Wish I May, Wish I Might...

Christmastime has always been, for me, a season of wishes.  Wishes to be made, wishes to be realized.  When I was a little child, still believing in Santa Claus, I would wish for presents and for snow.  As I got older, I wished for different things: health and happiness for my family, to be together with our relatives, to see my children smile as they open their presents.

Here are some wishes, large and small, from the past few days:

I wish for perspective.

We traveled a little early this year so that we could visit with my grandmother, who is in a nursing home, and is ailing.  She cannot really see or hear anymore, but I wanted my children to visit her, their great-grandmother.  When we walked in, Nana was lying in bed, awake, but non-responsive.  My mother talked quietly to her and stroked her hair.  The Little Badgers helped me open Nana's presents and we sang Christmas carols to her.  Little Brother Badger did not hesitate to give her a kiss, and Baby patted her hand.  As we drove home, Big Brother Badger asked his grandmother about Nana.  Why was she sick?  Why didn't she smile?  We tried to answer his questions honestly, and my Mom told stories about when her mother was young.  Time takes on a new meaning when four generations are in the same room.

I wish for tradition.

Traditions can be new, such as gathering the family to watch "A Christmas Story", or many years in the making, such as my sister and I putting the angel on the tree.  One tradition that we've followed since I was a child is pizza on Christmas Eve.  This year, a soft snow fell as the evening approached.  The Boy Badgers and their Daddy came in for dinner from playing in the snow, their eyes bright and their cheeks flushed.  We had music on the radio, a bottle of wine, and pizza and subs for dinner.  Bliss!

I wish for memories.

Three years ago on Christmas Day, my husband and I welcomed Little Brother Badger into our lives.  He is the gentle soul of our family, and we love him so, the best Christmas present we've ever gotten.  I took a moment to remember laboring with him, and when he appeared, happily observing, "You have beautiful brown eyes!"

I wish to let this all sink in.

After opening presents at my parents' house, we drove to Daddy River Badger's parents' house.  There, the Little Badgers got to see their other grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  We got to open more presents, and to eat and eat and eat.  I remember standing in the driveway looking up at my in-laws' home thinking that I needed to pause, and appreciate this morning, as it will go so fast.  And it did.  Fast as a wink.

I wish for joy.

Daddy River Badger's brother gives the best kid gifts in the history of the world.  This year, he did not disappoint.  Big Brother Badger opened his present from Uncle and the expression on his face radiated pure joy!  What was it that could make a 4-year-old jump up and down, screaming with happiness?  A six-foot-long stuffed crocodile, of course!

I wish for family.

I feel so lucky that I got to have a real conversation with every member of my family, on both sides.  I got to laugh with my sisters, talk with Dad #1 and Dad #2, cry with DRB's Mom, and reminisce with my own.  I got to rain hugs and kisses on my nieces and nephew, and chat with my brothers-in-law.  Where else can one enjoy chocolate milk at breakfast, unlimited homemade cookies, and a hot turkey sandwich before bed?  Big Brother Badger proclaimed, "I am being spoiled, but it's okay!"

I wish for us.

We drove back today, the traffic difficult, and the weather nasty.  We arrived home, though, to a Christmas just our own, the River Badger family, all five of us.  We got to revel in our own company, our own stories, our own particular brand of humor and tradition.

I wished for a memorable, wonderful holiday, and was so lucky to enjoy it with the ones I love.  Happy holidays from the River Badgers!