Mommy learned everything from watching TV

Last night I had a difficult time with Big Brother Badger.  Under-statement.  He woke up from his nap still tired and cranky, and refused to eat anything.  Low blood sugar added fuel to the fire, and by bath time, he was in full-fledged tantrum mode.  Disrespectful, yelling, running around, refusing to get undressed, the works.  Daddy River Badger was busy with the two youngest, and I was attempting to administer a well-deserved time-out.

Have you ever watched Jo, the British Super-nanny on TV?  We see stories of parents pushed to the brink, all fifteen children running around like they're possessed, food on the walls, toys in the sink, pushing and biting and kicking.  The parents throw their hands up and finally sink to the floor in a stupor of helplessness as chaos reigns around them.  Then Jo shows up and demands respect and obedience, throws a few solid time-outs around, and trains the parents up until order is returned to the home and everyone cries from happiness.  The staple of her arsenal is the time-out.  Not just a "go sit over there for a couple minutes" time-out, but a clearly defined system.  A set place, a set time, giving the child advance notice of what offenses necessitate a time-out, explaining to the child why what they did was wrong and requiring an apology.  The children usually start off thinking they can railroad their shell-shocked parents by scampering away after the time-out begins, but Jo stays right with the parent while he or she, time and time again, brings the child back to the naughty chair.  Sometimes this goes on for an hour or more.  The bottom line is that the parent must, and does, outlast the child.

Anyway, I rarely watch Super-nanny alone.  Usually Daddy River Badger is there, and more often than not, the Little Badgers are there, too.  They'll be playing at the other end of the room, but sometimes will wander over and ask about the "kids being bad" on TV.  My first thought is that watching children behaving badly will give them a sense of perspective.  They would see the disrespect and immaturity, and realize why Mommy and Daddy don't want that kind of behavior in the house.  My second thought is, of course, "Oh no!  They have access to state secrets!"  They've seen that Mommy and Daddy aren't naturally genius parents, that we haven't invented the time-out.  Maybe we're not the top of the family food chain anymore.  They do love shark documentaries.

In any case, time-outs in our home generally follow the Super-nanny process, and 98% of the time, seem to work.  Even Baby will sit quietly in her one minute time-out, and say "Sorry, Mama!" when she's done.  Then there are the times like last night, when I am having to drag the misbehaving child back into time-out again and again and again.  And I think back to when Big Brother Badger has watched the show with me and observed the on-screen parents doing this process, over and over.  Does he remember the parents' frustration and exhaustion?  Does he have the feeling he can wait me out, and that I will give up eventually?  Does he know that this particular parenting method came from someone else, making me somehow less effective?  I take a chance and hiss, "I can keep this up longer than you can.  You've watched Super-nanny."  I won't say it sunk it immediately, but very shortly thereafter he calmed down enough to stay seated criss-cross applesauce, facing the wall.  He did his time-out.  Hooray for me, right?  Well, I got this Mommy-win from a TV show.