Utopia

Last night my Mom watched a PBS documentary about the feminist movement.  The Boy Badgers were still up, so they were playing and reading books while the TV was on in the background.  I hate to admit this, but I was a little wary of them being exposed to this documentary.  Not for the reasons you might think, however.  Discussions of abortion, sexual expression, or domestic violence would be difficult to explain, but I found myself worried about something more fundamental and, maybe, more selfish.

I like to think that the Little Badgers are still young enough not to understand discrimination, bigotry, or sexism.  They, of course, observe how people are different, in skin color, accent, age, or just being a boy or a girl.  They see that some of their friends have two Mommies, or a Mommy and a Daddy, or just a Daddy.  They see that some families celebrate Christmas and some don't.  They see differences, but not superiority or inferiority.  I secretly enjoy the little utopia that I imagine exists in the Little Badger minds-differences acknowledged, but not prejudiced.  

So how do I explain racism, or sexism to them?  I know that it is important for them to understand where society has been and how hard the fight has been to get to where we are in this country.  But, what is the starting point for that discussion?  It's almost easier to explain reproduction to them.  I've easily handled questions about how babies come out of Mommy's belly, or why their sister doesn't have a penis.  That's biology, not sociology.

I would love to never expose the Little Badgers to the bad stuff.  On some crappy news days, I have a fantasy of just living in a bunker for a while.  While watching that documentary yesterday, I didn't want to have to answer why some people thought (or think) women are inferior to men.  I just didn't want to go there yet.  I wanted to keep the Little Badgers in that utopia, where women are simply doctors, or mothers, or teachers, or chefs, or what-have-you.  Writing this now, I understand that this may be somewhat acceptable now, due to their tender ages, but in the near future is simply denying reality and leaving them unprepared.  It's unfair to leave them without an appreciation for the hard work and sacrifices it took to get here by generations gone before, and still today.  People fighting for religious freedoms, marriage equality, fighting age discrimination, fighting for civil rights.  Things aren't just handed out for free, and I know that's one of the basic lessons of life, kid or adult.

It turned out not to matter, yesterday.  The Boy Badgers pretty much ignored the TV, and instead focused on books and a snack before heading up to bed.  I ended up feeling discontented about my initial reaction.  As I thought about it more, I realized that it was good that this came up now.  I'm going to do some homework.  I'm going to think very hard about how to talk to the Little Badgers when these topics do arise.  I hope I can answer them honestly, if not fully, depending on their ages.  Utopia is a wonderful thing, especially for a child, in his or her mother's eyes, but was never meant to last too long, unfortunately.