So what if I put bacon in the pot roast?

I've got a great husband.  Daddy River Badger is all sorts of wonderful.  But, as any married couple can attest, there are, ahem, points of contention.  I think that the more you love someone, the angrier they can make you.  They know exactly which buttons to push, and all the arguments are made with the finesse of true professionals.  The good thing is that the love will always pull you back, and usually quickly.  Pheromones help, too.  Well, I've written about the changes that have happened in our household recently, including my journey to being a SAHM.  One point of contention that has recently reared its head is DRB flying his "control freak" flag, and me sticking it to him with my "don't tell me what to do" attitude.  What, you ask, might cause such an ugly display?  Cooking.

We're a closeted foodie family.  We love to watch the Food Network, and "Top Chef".  DRB and I threaten the Little Badgers with episodes of "Chopped" instead of their cartoons if they misbehave.  Big Brother Badger likes to play-act cooking competitions with his toy food and dishes.  The other day, he made me a delectable plate of carrots, porcupine, and chocolate.  I declined, saying I wanted pizza "with no stuff on it".  He swooned dramatically to the floor, sighing, "I guess I've been 'Chopped'!"  Having three kids, though, means that we can't go out to eat as much as we would like.  So, our relationship with food is pretty much defined by our home life.

DRB relaxes by cooking.  His ideal world would be a quick trip to Trader Joe's after work each day to pick up fresh ingredients and a bottle of wine before heading home to leisurely prepare a delicious, yet economical dinner.  We actually lived that dream for a bit in South Pasadena, CA before moving back East.  My ideal world is a little more structured.  I would prefer a single grocery trip for the week, picking up ingredients for a series of fun meals picked from the pages of cooking magazines and books.  I don't so much relax by cooking, but I enjoy putting things together and trying things out.  I don't like to be meddled with.  He doesn't like to be boxed in.  I don't like advice or criticism when I cook, as it's usually, and proudly, trial and error.  He doesn't like wasting good food through stubbornness.

Then we added three Little Badgers, and mostly played things by ear.  We would shop somewhere between 2-3 times per week, and usually cooked whatever was around when one of us got home.  Total improvisation and near-total chaos.  I recently left my job, though, and a situation that I thought would be simplified has instead evolved into a constant tug-of-war.  I feel like I am in a position to bring order to our food-lives.  I want to plan my own meals, and try out recipes from magazines.  He wants to keep the expenditures under control, and does not trust any magazine recipe to be cheap or economical.  I want the kids to try new things.  He just wants them to eat, and therefore wants the food to be straightforward.  I want him to get the hell out of my kitchen.  He loves to cook, and really can't help himself from trying to help, give advice, or just watch over my shoulder.  I feel he doesn't trust me.  He feels I don't give his likes and dislikes due consideration.

So, I'm playing the traditional Mom-card without much experience, and he's hanging on to how we did things before, without giving me any leeway.  We're at odds.  I really want to make him happy, and I hope he feels the same way.  We're oil and water in the kitchen, though, and I'm not sure where to go from here.  Probably to the liquor cabinet.  At least we can agree on a good cocktail!