Ah, the ride to and from daycare. It's hardest on a Monday morning, when the Little Badgers have just had a whole weekend away from a strict schedule. It's also "hardest" on a Friday afternoon, when they are burned out and tired. Since Baby Badger is very young, she can usually be placated with a bottle of milk or her famous pink poodle. The Boy Badgers were a little harder to figure out.
I started by stocking the back seat of the van with toys and books, but fights would break out over those. I figured they were hungry, especially in the afternoon, and was sure to have snacks on hand. But heaven forbid the fruit snacks had different wrappers! And my rule about no juice in the backseat didn't go over very well.
The fights were getting louder, and the tensions were rising. Not good for a Mommy trying to pay attention to the road. My strategy thus far had been to bribe, threaten, or, finally, yell. This did not help the tension one bit. At one point, during an afternoon drive, a squabble started in the back over which Boy Badger had seen a certain truck and which one was a liar. They were yelling over each other, calling each other names. I felt a headache coming on. Traffic stretched in front of me. I took a deep breath to yell, and then...had a thought. Maybe they were frustrated because they didn't know how to have a real conversation in that situation. In the van, they are strapped into their carseats. They can't use their body language, or really gesture, or be physical at all. They had to use their voices alone to get a point across. And apparently they had to learn some rules that go with that. Turns out my yelling wasn't helping very much. Okay, time to step up.
So I said, as calmly as possible, "Hey, boys, where do you think clouds come from?". There was a brief silence. Then they started talking at the same time. I stopped them with the suggestion the Big Brother Badger talk first, and then Little Brother Badger have his turn. It worked pretty well. On that drive home, they learned that interrupting was not nice, that having turns gave everyone a chance to speak (even Baby Badger), and that screaming that someone was lying was not helpful to the discussion. Having the opportunity to express themselves, with the security of knowing it was their turn, was relished. Little Brother Badger started off most of his turns that day with, "Whyyyy......whyyyyy....ummmmm...". He had a big smile the whole time-he was driving the conversation and he didn't know where to begin!
We now start off our drive home with a snack, the stuffed poodle, and a bottle of milk, but also a question, "What would you boys like to talk about?". Their answers fascinate me. They ask questions..."How do dolphins breathe when they sleep?", "Do spiders make expressions on their faces?". They make observations..."Woody is taller than Buzz, and Buzz is fatter than Woody!", "There are a bunch of birds in that field!". They talk about rain, or traffic lights, or bugs, or deer. I've tried to answer questions about the homeless man asking passing drivers for money, or why ambulances drive so fast. I've enjoyed a breathtaking rainbow with them, and waxed poetic about white light being split into its component wavelengths. I've had to explain many times about why we couldn't just drive to Grandma's. Even Baby chimes in, and of course, is given the same respect as the rest of the family. You can see the joy on her face as she is acknowledged in the same way as her older brothers.
Riding in the car presents its own challenges, different from interactions at home, but also its own opportunities. I love the perspective I get from the kids. The kinetic energy they're usually spending racing in circles, pushing, or jumping up and down is replaced by thinking and talking energy. And I learn something new every trip.
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