Everyone has seen the columns in magazines where celebrities are photographed picking up kids at school, or grocery shopping, or heading out to the gym. "Just Like Us!", the headline proclaims. Well, maybe, but I found myself thinking of those columns today. My take on "Just Like Us" is that I'm not supposed to feel quite so inadequate with my frizzy hair, baggy jeans, or screaming kid, because it happens to the beautiful people, too. But, celebrities aside, from an everyday perspective, I do take comfort in seeing even small similarities with other parents. It's a warm feeling, a sigh of relief. Especially as a stay-at-home parent, where I find myself very alone at times, the sense of empathy with other parents, manifested in similar choices, or patterns, reassures me.
Today, I took the Little Badgers to Ikea. The boys signed in to play in the kids' area and ball pit, and Baby Badger came along with me to do some shopping. We wandered up to the children's section and Baby gravitated towards a group of toddlers. I joined the Mommies, attentive but standing back, letting the little ones play. We called out instructions, kissed invisible boo-boos, smoothed hair, and adjusted clothes. We made low-voiced comments to each other about how funny the kids were, and shared glances of understanding. We smiled, and rolled our eyes, and gasped together. As I stood there, appreciating the camaraderie, I noticed something interesting. One Mommy was wearing jeans and running shoes, her hair pulled back in a ponytail; pretty much my doppelgänger. Another was pushing a large stroller, her three small children buzzing around her; again, very familiar. A third was chatting pleasantly with her mother while drinking a large fountain soda; hell-o! No matter how different we looked, I saw a bit of myself in all of them.
Now, appearances are superficial, but the brief feeling of belonging was significant. In becoming a parent, I've found myself empathizing more, reaching for common understanding, and searching for bonds in new places. Perhaps it is the amazing new range of emotions that the Little Badgers have brought out in me, or the new depth of feeling that seems to run deeper every day. Perhaps it is the new, sharp, realization of how vulnerable we all are, and family and friendships, too.
After all, as parents, we've all been through stuff. Stuff that, in the moment, we think no one else could ever understand. We're separated by generations, by geography, by a perception of a lack of common ground. As a parent, there are opportunities to learn the depths of faith, fear, love, and strength. It is comforting to know I'm not alone.
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