Yesterday, everything clicked after dinner. The Little Badgers were in amazing moods, we found spectacular "dance party" music on the radio, and everyone had lots of fun playing football with Daddy and pretending to be mascots. I was flying high, so happy to be a parent, and filled with pride at how joyful the Little Badgers were. The feeling was so profound that I paid closer attention to the ups and downs of today. On reflection, it actually felt strangely like a high school dance. First I was popular, then I wasn't. I successfully spiked the punch and was a hero, and then suddenly I was Carrie, covered with guts and humiliated in front of the whole school. Once I started thinking about it, I was struck by how wild the swings can be in a day with children, and how quickly one can forget the bad stuff in the face of the happy moments.
The day started off with a high: the Little Badgers were so happy in the morning, eating their cereal, reading to each other, playing with their stuffed animals. They couldn't wait to get outside, and we all had fun waving at the cool guys on the trash truck. Then, Little Brother and Baby asked to go for a walk, and there started the wild swing towards a low. Big Brother did not want to go for a walk; he wanted to keep playing with his plastic bugs in the bushes next to the house. To make a long story short, the first twenty minutes were filled with screaming and yelling and dawdling, to the point where one of my neighbors came running out of her house to see if she could help the child in apparent distress. Yeah, super embarrassing, that. We finished our walk (Big Brother decided he was having fun after a while) and headed home. Here's an "in-between". The rest of our walk was pretty uneventful. When we got home, we ate an early lunch and everyone finished their food. In-between.
Swinging back to low: driving to the library after lunch only to find that it didn't open for another hour. Poor Little Brother Badger, his heart having been set on looking for a book on fish, lost it on the sidewalk outside, and Bad Mommy had to carry him back to the van in front of the entire nursery school class playing outside next door. But, then, before I could get too worked up, another in-between: kids enjoying a quick episode of "Dinosaur Train" and then heading for naps without too much drama. And then, out of nowhere, a quiet high: Little Brother falling asleep playing with my hair, his long lashes brushing his rosy cheeks, and his toy penguin under his arm.
More highs followed, today: Big Brother gently holding his sister's hand and giving her hugs and kisses when she woke up from her nap crying; Daddy River Badger bringing Baby, fresh from her bath and wrapped in a towel, into the kitchen to give me a kiss; The Boy Badgers sitting together in bed reading a book, giggling and talking excitedly.
In fact, as I look back over today, I mostly remember the highs. I discussed the lows, strategizing with Daddy in a quick jam session before dinner, but they served as lessons learned, guideposts for tomorrow. Most of the in-between moments strangely turned into highs as I contemplated them, as I discovered all the little hidden details. Details like Baby's success at eating yogurt without ruining her shirt, Big Brother's generous sharing of his favorite toy with his brother, and three Little Badgers singing along to a TV show, happy and smiling, all three next to each other on the couch.
Even though the high of last night got me paying attention, the ups and downs of today had me hooked. Happiness, pride, anger, frustration, fear, joy, all buffeted and driven by love. Like the Navy says, it's not a job, it's an adventure. Like my Mom says, welcome to parenting.
The day started off with a high: the Little Badgers were so happy in the morning, eating their cereal, reading to each other, playing with their stuffed animals. They couldn't wait to get outside, and we all had fun waving at the cool guys on the trash truck. Then, Little Brother and Baby asked to go for a walk, and there started the wild swing towards a low. Big Brother did not want to go for a walk; he wanted to keep playing with his plastic bugs in the bushes next to the house. To make a long story short, the first twenty minutes were filled with screaming and yelling and dawdling, to the point where one of my neighbors came running out of her house to see if she could help the child in apparent distress. Yeah, super embarrassing, that. We finished our walk (Big Brother decided he was having fun after a while) and headed home. Here's an "in-between". The rest of our walk was pretty uneventful. When we got home, we ate an early lunch and everyone finished their food. In-between.
Swinging back to low: driving to the library after lunch only to find that it didn't open for another hour. Poor Little Brother Badger, his heart having been set on looking for a book on fish, lost it on the sidewalk outside, and Bad Mommy had to carry him back to the van in front of the entire nursery school class playing outside next door. But, then, before I could get too worked up, another in-between: kids enjoying a quick episode of "Dinosaur Train" and then heading for naps without too much drama. And then, out of nowhere, a quiet high: Little Brother falling asleep playing with my hair, his long lashes brushing his rosy cheeks, and his toy penguin under his arm.
More highs followed, today: Big Brother gently holding his sister's hand and giving her hugs and kisses when she woke up from her nap crying; Daddy River Badger bringing Baby, fresh from her bath and wrapped in a towel, into the kitchen to give me a kiss; The Boy Badgers sitting together in bed reading a book, giggling and talking excitedly.
In fact, as I look back over today, I mostly remember the highs. I discussed the lows, strategizing with Daddy in a quick jam session before dinner, but they served as lessons learned, guideposts for tomorrow. Most of the in-between moments strangely turned into highs as I contemplated them, as I discovered all the little hidden details. Details like Baby's success at eating yogurt without ruining her shirt, Big Brother's generous sharing of his favorite toy with his brother, and three Little Badgers singing along to a TV show, happy and smiling, all three next to each other on the couch.
Even though the high of last night got me paying attention, the ups and downs of today had me hooked. Happiness, pride, anger, frustration, fear, joy, all buffeted and driven by love. Like the Navy says, it's not a job, it's an adventure. Like my Mom says, welcome to parenting.
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