Growing up, I remember watching "The Wizard of Oz" on network television once a year. My sister and I would be allowed to stay up late, and we would fall in love all over again with Dorothy and her ruby slippers. I also remember reading the book; the shoes were a little different, but the love was still there. Something about the characters and the simplicity of the tale fascinated me, even as a child. Growing up, it seemed like the story was everywhere. Cultural references, school plays, my excitement to buy my niece a pair of sequined "ruby slippers" for her birthday.
I've now been reading the book to the Boy Badgers, a bit every night. They are entranced as well, but as opposed to being obsessed with the fancy shoes, like I was, they are more interested in squishing witches with houses and huge friendly lions who can talk. But, the best part of reading the story once more is that I have the opportunity to really think about the characters and the story. As an adult, with a bit more life experience behind me, I find I still have the love, and now, somewhat more perspective.
The characters are simple, each representing something yearned for by any one of us. Self-confidence, smarts, the capacity for love, loyalty to and nostalgia for home and family. The characters experience the transition from naiveté to the realization that some things in life take more than just the asking, even if one already has the tools in one's grasp. Each of the main characters effectively possessed their heart's desire, but did not have the ability to recognize it in themselves.
As a parent, I find I look often to others for advice, or for potential answers, or just for camaraderie. There is something about the importance of raising a child that makes me anxious for "certainty". I want to be certain that I am doing the right thing. I want to be certain that I am not missing anything important. Perhaps this classic story has more applicability in my life now than ever before. Each of the main characters knew what they wanted most and they knew why they wanted it. They just needed a little help in getting where they needed to be.
Becoming a parent feels like an initiation, and being a parent can sometimes feel like a trial. In the daily commotion, it is sometimes hard to find your way or recognize your own abilities. For myself, my heart's desire is to be a good parent. I want to raise strong, responsible, respectful children who help make the world a better place. There are days when I feel like I am lacking, faltering, when it seems like my desire is thwarted by easy fixes that fall short. Perhaps not surprisingly, it is usually the observation of an outsider that helps me realize that I'm not doing such a bad job after all. Someone else, a friend, a sister, another parent, a kind lady at the mall, helps me recognize the tools that I already have, and helps me find the confidence to use them.
Going it alone as a parent, even as a pair of parents, can lead to tunnel vision, to a lack of perspective, to an inner monologue that constantly lists faults and mistakes and ignores successes and good calls. Having someone tell you that you are doing something well is sometimes the only way the "wins" will sink in. Whatever we are trying for, be it brains and courage, or a way to get through to a stubborn toddler, more likely than not we already have what we need, and here's to the people who help us recognize it.
No comments:
Post a Comment